We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
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