There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
