Don't make out with my wife yet
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
