NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
