Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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