meet me or not, i'm out of control
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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