No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
