When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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