Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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