She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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