dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
