you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
