I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
