you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
