It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
