i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
