Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
