Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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