I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
We have so much sex to catch up on
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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