Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
