that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
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