He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
