I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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