So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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