I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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