WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
