I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
