Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
