There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
