Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
