Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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