Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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