So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
