i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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