My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
