dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
