So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
