So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
