Acid is not a monday night drug
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
