the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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