i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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