After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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