He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I skipped work to stalk him.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
