I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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