I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
