But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
