Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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