wake up i wanna do it froggy style
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
