we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
zippers are such a cool invention
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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