that's an acceptable place to lick
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
